Really, though, delivery person? Is it critical that you alert us to the package that you drop on the step? Is it necessary to knock on my door when the doorbell is turned off? Do you get some kind of pleasure driving away to the sound of dogs barking and babies crying? If it is literally part of the job I feel a little bad about being annoyed. But seriously, just STOP knocking.
You don’t wait at the door… you don’t need me to sign. You knock and run. It’s the delivery version of ding-dong-ditch. It is not appreciated.
You see… two small children live here… along with two dogs. Your route lands you at our house smack dab in the middle of nap time more than half of the week (I have mentioned previously that as a family we are slightly Prime addicted so daily deliveries are not uncommon). Anyway, when you knock, it upsets the dogs. They are not fond of strange visitors and are quite protective of their humans. (That is the nicer way of saying that they go batshit crazy when anyone so much as passes the house). And unfortunately we do not live in a mansion with several wings or have the children’s bedrooms miles away from this commotion…. so when the dogs are busy protecting us from you it wakes the sleeping babies right at the top of the stairs.
I thought I had such a good idea: turn the doorbell off during nap time so this little production doesn’t have to happen …. buuuut there you are, knuckles at the ready, ruining nap time day after day. (I can turn it on and off through an app on my phone, so it’s not a huge pain)
I have found that typically the post nap conversation with the 2 year old tends to set the tone for the rest of the day. I’m not sure if you have ever tried to communicate with an overtired two year old whose nap has been cut short? I invite you to try. It’s not pretty. It’s kind of like trying to get information out of a sobbing wine-drunk college kid who can’t remember where they live. For real though. On those days where she woken up before she is actually ready to be awake I feel like I’m walking on eggshells trying to trick her into being happy again.
Literally our conversation yesterday:
Me: (go into her room) Hi, Honey…
Her: 😭 NO MAMA, I wake uuuuuup 😭
Me: I’m sorry, are you still tired?
Her: 😭😩 Nooooo! I’m NOT tired. I just have to poop 😠😠
Me: ok, do you–
Her: DON’T SAY OKAAAAAY 😡 😭😭
Me: let’s go have a snack!
Her: I DON’T want a snack, Mama. NO! Yeah I just do want trail miiiiiix 😭
–get to the stairs–
Me: (bracing myself) can I help you down?
Her: NO! I go by myself. Don’t go on it your self, Mama. Just go at your home! 😠😏 (no idea what that means, but if I had to guess based on her facial expressions, she was telling me to F off)
Me: (trying to distract) let’s play fun games after snack!
Her: NO! Yeah! and read books? Yeah! I so excited! Thank you, Mama! 😊
Note: I previously hung a sign on the door saying “Please, do NOT knock or ring the bell” and it actually made things worse… Several people misread it and thought we wanted them to knock.
Does anyone else have this problem? What do you do?